In 12 minutes, it will be Saturday, and I'm up...Yes, I went to bed, but couldn't sleep. Finally, after catching my breath, now that Jason is home from the hospital and Hannah, Amber and Clay have returned home, I can think. Although now that is not a easy thing. My heart is hurting. I lay in bed thinking about Rick's dad and mom. Plans are to admit Mr. Blanchard (89 years old) into Britthaven Nursing Home on Monday. Over the last 33 years, I have loved and greatly respected him. His quiet disposition, his sense of humor, his strong, but quiet presence made it so easy to love him. Even now, it's great to be around him, though after we've gone, he ask Nanny, his wife (80 years old), who were those people who just left. His reaction to us when we are there never lets us know that he doesn't know who we are. Is it after we're gone, he doesn't remember who we are, or did he never realize it was us? If he never realized who we were, what a greater witness of his character...that he would treat us like family...even though he doesn't know us. Carrying on a conversation with him is difficult now. It's like trying to fit the few words that he can say clearly together to make a thought. For some time now, as long as he's home, his days go better. When he goes somewhere during the day, he get disoriented and it takes a day or two to get himself back together. What will this move to the nursing home do to him?
Then I think of Nanny, and most of you know that even though I love many things about her, and realize that she's been a great mother-in-law and grandmother, there are things that I don't like about her. I hurt for her also. For the last several years, she has gradually become the complete caretaker of the home, the yard, the finances, and finally Mr. Blanchard. This job has consumed her and robbed her of part of her health and her retirement during her mature years. Now what will she do...When he's gone? I think that her feeling of guilt about putting him in the nursing home will prevent her from getting out and start living again. Caring for him in the daytime wasn't too difficult, but when he started staying up a big part of the night, pacing from window to window looking out, made it difficult for her to get her rest. Diane and Rick knew something had to be done for her well being and encouraged her to look for other options.
I also hurt for Rick. He has been challenged this last several years. He revealed to me just before Christmas how hard it's been. When he bought the shop, he imagined that his dad would come around and sit by the wood heater (that's not there anymore) and spend time with him during some of his retirement days. He imagined taking rides and talking about cars with his dad, but that didn't happen often. Not long (my memory fails when) after Rick bought the shop, his dad had colon cancer. During his recovery, his driver's license lapped and he could never pass the sign test to get them back. He hadn't ever driven much out of the area and he just could not pass that test. That took some of his retirement joy. He had to rely on Nanny for all transportation. I truly believe that Nanny has taken good care of him, but her complaining about it and some of her comments has "shut" Ricky out. When I say "shut" him out, that's his response. He'd rather not go see them that to have to listen to Nanny complain and call Mr. B. Names. He won't tell her how he feels and I know that she sometimes thinks his actions say, "I don't care". Well they do, they say, "I don't care to be around you, Mama, if you're going to complain and talk bad about Daddy". Nanny had some "coping" problems in her younger years. Rick feels like his daddy was patient with her then and feels that she should be more patient with him now.
Please keep them all in your prayers for there will be difficult days ahead.
Back to Jason, the doctors think that he has a fungus in his lungs. The antibiotics that his GP prescribed were just fuel for the fungus and made it worse. He is being treated with 5 different medicines, one being a steroid. He'll need to stay out of work another week per his doctor. As best as I know, the biopsy results are not in yet.
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